13 stepping in aa dating dating in middle east
It's when any one tries to take advantage of the vulnerabilities of another for personal gain. I have seen a woman who had double digit years 13 stepped... I was told early on that one 13th step is..."My life is completely unmanageable, I ride a really nice bicycle, live with my parents, am looking for a job and have 32 days of continuous sobriety and I want to share it all with you babe! I had stuck by her side after 10 yrs of alcoholism ruined whatever intimacy we had together. PM me and I'll give you more details to validate the story. There are a few self-centered jerks who attempt to take advantage of others in EVERY aspect of life - in the work place, in your circle of friends, in the church, and yes, sometimes in AA.
13 stepping in aa dating
And he got a look on his face like he had been smacked.
I have more self respect and more confidence than I used to and I feel I don't have to put up with this kind of crap anymore and by not doing anything before last night, realized I may have been encouraging his behavior.
So that's my part in it."13th Stepping" is when someone who has been in AA for a while preys on newcomers. I guess despite being sober and working the Steps, there are some folks who are still needy and have the desire to prove it to themselves that they are desirable...either that or they are just plain ole horny.
When someone with some sobriety time under their belt comes up to you, the newcomer (under a year of sobriety time), and asks you out or says sexual and other remarks that make you feel uncomfortable they are 13th Stepping.
I had no knowledge of or experience with right motives.
I survived and was able to learn from the experience because in spite of my poor behaviour in regard to relationships, I was very serious about recovery, and I was working through the steps the whole time. We try and gently let newcomers know the risks and dangers, and some of us will take a harder line with obvious predatory behaviour.
Since I have been in AA I have had my share of people who have been trying to work the 13th Step with me.
When I started AA this last time, I was extremely insecure, self-conscious and as so many alcoholics are by the time they get into AA, beaten down.
The bottom line is these 13th steppers are passive aggressive predators preying on the malleable condition of a tormented mind and they disgusting perverts. I may have been an "innocent" newcomer, but I was not in that relationship for any of the "right" reasons.
My actions were based in self seeking, lust, insecurity, and prestige instincts.
My behaviour was really the result of defects of character that had not been removed yet. Many of us, as the alcohol leaves our systems, experience strong feelings and we don't always know what they are. It's very unfair for a member to hit on a newcomer who hasn't yet got their feet on the ground. Because if someone has not yet had their spiritual experience they may not survive the emotional upheaval that goes with these relationships.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating