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We get a lot of questions from young Christian men and women who are “not yet married.” Their season of life awakens many desires and hopes, uncertainties and insecurities, and tricky pastoral questions.To help find the right questions, we called on three not-yet-married friends who gave some time to thinking about the challenges faced by singles: Lore Ferguson, Paul Maxwell, and the recently engaged Marshall Segal.
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Don’t go back and give the play-by-play to your friends.
If you want to pursue things further, then repeat 3-9.
And to do that you should start with the right motivation.
Specifically, you should: “Treat younger women as sisters with absolute purity.” (1Timothy 5:2).
Within the covenant community of faith, there should be those around a person that can speak of their reputation and whether they are serious about growing in the Lord and putting sin to death in their life. Is there seriousness in this person to grow in their relationship and understanding with the Lord?
Because what I have tragically found is that Christian singles hit an area of desperation, particularly young women, and they will go: “Yeah, he is a Christian, he comes to church.” And really what they’re saying is this guy comes to church a couple of times a month, but outside of attending a service, he doesn’t have a real seriousness about growing in his understanding of the Lord, growing in his understanding of the Bible, being a prayerful person, no vivication or mortification that can be spotted, and no one who really knows them enough to speak to the growth in their character.Your girlfriend or fiancee is a ‘sister’ first of all and should be treated as such.” Until you are married, she is my daughter and your sister. Second, treat my daughter as you would treat your sister—with selfless love. I have promised the Lord to present her pure to a young man on her wedding day (2 Corinthians 11:2). You can walk into this dating labyrinth with a serving heart or a self-seeking heart. He and his wife, Sharon, have four children and reside in Rhode Island. ———————— BIO: Chap Bettis is the executive director of The Apollos Project, a ministry dedicated to helping families pass the gospel to their children.First, treat my daughter as you would treat your sister—with absolute purity. Deliberately seek to socialize together or (radical thought!Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating