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I was spoiled, wanted for nothing, and had everything. Then I married a man whose immediate family consists of 24 people. Family gatherings take place as often as daily since the entire family lives in very close proximity to one another.

Before meeting my husband he was feeling the Arabian pressure of ‘marriage’.

He can comfortably spend his Winter in a desert tent, cooking fresh meat over fahem, and brushing his teeth with a miswak. While I’m watching the Arab Ramadan shows, he’s fully invested in an episode of Daily Show or Colbert.

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If he knew something bothered me or caused me pain, he wouldn’t do it, that simple.

In the bedoin culture men are often viewed as superior to women (by outsiders), but it’s not that way.

He’s actually more Westernized than many ‘city’ Arabs I know.

His English is perfect, he’s been to America and fully understands our mentality, culture, and politics.

Family members were actively seeking out prospective wives to include cousins. They have very close family ties and rarely marry outside of their tribe. And someone he could see himself investing a lifetime in. Certainly I’m not someone his mother would have chosen for him, but she’s never made me feel that way. Perhaps they were just relieved he was finally getting married?

My husband made clear he wasn’t interested in an arranged marriage, but instead wanted to marry someone he chose. 🙂 Either way, this spoiled, only child now has a huge family who I love and cherish.

For a woman to shed a tear and a man be the cause is shameful. Large family gatherings happened once a year during family reunion time and even that came to an abrupt halt when my grandparents died.

Fortunately my husband does fit comfortably into this part of the culture he appears to have left so far behind. The typical Southern Belle raised as an only child in America. I never had to share anything with anyone — even my space.

They accept I need a fork to eat my meals and they’ve always accommodated me without making me feel awkward.

I’m never left out of family events and they even go out of their way to embrace things from my culture.

I’ve heard horror stories of cheating, abuse, and outright disrespect.

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