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These are, these are two aspects of my studies, which I, which are very close to my heart, and I thought what if I can bring them together so the science would give you the practical aspects of what to do, while the eastern wisdom, the ancient wisdom that’s been around for 2500 years tells you, you know, how to go about how to think about things and how to be.Chip August: Well I want to say to my listeners, if you’re hearing all this I want you to know that while the book is filled with all kinds of very simple spiritual information, it’s not a heavy tome here, it’s not, it doesn’t read like it’s, like it’s science homework and it doesn’t read like it’s class and spirituality homework.

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The book for women took about two and a half years…Chip August: Wow! Alex Benzer: Well actually because I am not a woman, so that was tough. Who am I to try to delve inside and try to figure out what they’re thinking?

Chip August: I thought you had a pretty deep voice for a woman, yeah. ” So my approach is more from the point of view of the man, saying, “Look, you know, this is how men think, this is what makes you attractive to a man, and these things that you do in the presence of men, you know, makes them feel great, this other thing that you do maybe not so great.” So substantially there’s, there’s a substantial amount of overlap between the two books, mainly because it’s about human beings, it’s about people and the principles of eastern wisdom, Taoism, Buddhism, Hinduism, all this stuff, they’re universal. But there’s some stuff in there that’s going to be different from, from what the women and the men…

But we’ll come back to that, we’ll come back to that in a little bit. Alex Benzer: Maybe just on Wednesday’s, but, you know, the rest of the time…Chip August: I am curious though a little bit here, so all of your background, tell me about this, your own background in the Tao, in Taoism and, you know, like, what’s, what brought you to bring Taoism to dating, you know? ” And finally, you know, my senior year I bought it and I read it in college, I was like, “This is really cool.” And, and then in med school I got the Tao of Edging, I read that, and since then I read it hundreds upon hundreds of times and, you know, probably has it permeating every, every fiber in my, in my muscles, and I just always found the philosophy very empowering, and yet, at the same not doctrinare, not imposing in any way.

It’s just like look, this is the way the world works; you can go, flow with it in which case you’ll probably be happy, you can try to struggle against it in which case you probably won’t be happy.

It reads like you’re talking about real people, and some of the basic principles that make for a happier experience dating. Alex Benzer: Thank you, I really appreciate that ‘cause that’s, that was one of the efforts of the book, which was to bring all the stuff, the masi meseoteric and the strange and out there, and make it really useable.

It’s like, you know, this is not some high fluitent stuff that is inaccessible, this is right here right now, and you can just read this and start doing it immediately.Chip August: I want to talk about all these in a little more detail, but I also want to pause for a moment to take a break. Give him the ability to be forgiven and be that source of forgiveness and say, “Look, you know, I know that these things happen. And you can email me directly, dralex, that’s d-r-a-l-e-x @thetaoofdating.com, that’s the t-a-o of dating, dot com ().So listeners, we’re about to take a break, and I just want to remind you that my sponsors are what make this show possible, so I would really appreciate you listening to the sponsors, and if it’s possible for you to patronize them, well that makes a big difference for me and it makes a big difference for the show, and it obviously makes a big difference for them. I see it, it’s pretty obvious to me, and I still forgive you because I know you’re bigger than that”, and when you do that he will become bigger than that, as opposed to, you know, trying to beat him down and punish him. You know, the only think I don’t like about half hour interviews is that there’s hardly enough time to cover it all, so… And you can also, if you use Twitter, you’re more than welcome to follow me on Twitter; it’s @ sign, dralexbenzer, one word, no spaces.The fourth one is getting out of your own way, and that’s kind of the whole idea of dropping ego and kind of noticing that most of the time between you and what you want there is no physical barrier; it’s mostly some kind of mental thing, some kind of cultural thing, some notion that somebody planted in your head a long time ago that may not really serve you anymore. Even if he’s getting lost, if you still voice your trust of him and say, “You know, I have faith in you”, then he will grow into that. That was so awesome.” Even the small things, ‘cause that’s what the guy’s built to do; he’s built to provide, he’s built to protect, and if you don’t give that to him, his whole purpose in life is basically nil.And, and the fifth one is kind of an operational one, it’s the be/do/have mentality, which is in other words you have what you want, you need to start at the level of identity, you have to be a certain kind of person. Energy flows where attention goes, so focus your attention upon the thing that you want, not the thing that you don’t want. So the more you do that, the more he grows into his masculinity, the more he will absolutely love you.He’s a certified clinical Hypnotherapist and has consulted with fortune 100 companies. I mean she’s just an amazing, amazing woman, she’s was smart, she’s sweet, she’s beautiful, she’s kind, and, you know, she just wasn’t being treated right.

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